Sex Abuse Divorce & Religion

Men Had Sex with Little Girl
Religon & Sex Abuse

 ISLAM NEWSROOM UPDATE: "SEX ABUSE IN AMERICA"

Young non-Muslim boy sexually abused by close relative - Priest told him evil things about Muhammad & Ayesha to keep him from Islam.

Read our answer to help him and others see the truth..

Dear Sheik Yusuf,

please don't say my name, but help me know what Islam says about to sex abuse to children.

When I was only 7 years old my oder (close relative) who was a Catholic, used to do sex on me and he was a guy not a girl. It was horrible what he would do, but he said if I told anyone I would be in big trouble. He was nice to me but then when we was all alone he would do some things, really bad things. It made me so sick, and somtimes I would have to go to the bathroom and just be horrible sick from it.

When I became a teen ager him and others did some stuff too and drink alcohol even though he was not even 18 yet. Then came pills and smoking ciggarettes and then drugs and worse sex things.

I grew up wihtout ever telliing anyone. Even until today, I never said it to anyone because of fear and shame of it. PLease do not say my name or anything. You know. It was ruin my life.

I got married at 18 but everything was all mixed up. My wife was super religious and not understand about things like that. Divorced by 20 years. Then married again at 21, divorced at 22. Again another wife for short time, and again divorce. I tried only to be married, no dating stuff but it was failure. I would go to church, pray, read Bible and pray more for this to go away. I got married again, this time to rich girl, sings in church and she was really messed up in sex from other people too. She got to the alcohol, smoke drugs and singing in church. Then she to sex with men iin secret. Two of them was my frineds and one he told me she try to do something with him. I divorce her.

Then one more time I try to marry with nice young girl but find out she also have sex problems with family since 7 years old, uncles, cousins and old men too. She also go to sex in secret when I out of town.

I am trying to find ways for God forgive me and make me normal and not with all this sex, drugs and alcohol people around me. I hate anything that is against God's commandments.

So, why this happening to me? I don't want to give up. Do you know Jesus?

I don't want to divorce again. She says it is all my fault, that I am the one with all the problems. But I am so sad ab out all this but I want to be like normal and just have wife, children, home and good religion with God.

I compare my religion to Islam, I think Muslims are like what I want to live, but what about Jesus?

Our priest he said, Muhammad didn't pray Jesus. And he said he do some sex with young girl.

But I don't like to pray to statues and pictures in the church or to say "Hail Mary, full of grace.." and confess so much things to these priests.

Do you really believe in God? Can God be Jesus? Does God forgive all this sex and abuse?

Time for us to clear the air, once and for all on this topic. Here is the essence of what we wrote for him -

Dear (name witheld),

Thank you for writing to us with your story and your questions and comments. There are things you have mentioned in the letter to me were of a very personal nature and not something to publish entirely. They also require the expertise of a counselor rather than someone like myself.

You certainly bring up some strong points and it could be this lady is seeking to put the "blame" on you in a way to continue some deep rooted emotions from the past.

Putting the blame on others for the way we feel or the way we act is not something acceptable in Islam. We know for instance, anything that happens is all by the Will of Allah and once it has happened there is nothing we could do to change it. We must be content to say, "This is the Will of Allah and I accept whatever my Lord has Willed". This is similar to "God's Will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

The reference you made to our prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and his wife Ayesha is most inappropriate due to a number of reasons. Consider first of all, the feelings and emotions in your case, according to your own statements - were all based on evil intentions and lust, rather than on good intentions and love.

Relationships of any kind depend on the intention and desires of all parties concerned and when one or both of them are doing something out of lustful intent without regard for the other, this can only lead to disaster.

The whole point of marriage in Islam is to make clear from the beginning the intentions of all parties involved, based on God's Will and following the proper steps, giving everyone their rights and protecting the honor, dignity and feelings of everyone.

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, never had an kind of sexual encounter with anyone, until he was properly married to his first wife, Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her. They remained married and very much in love until she passed away. They were married for over 25 years and all this time prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, did not have any other wife.

It was after the insistence of his lifelong friend Abu Bakr, that prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, began to consider taking another wife. Abu Bakr was trying to get him to marry his daughter, Ayesha, but she was not old enough according to Islam. This came as part of the revelation in Quran, in chapter 4, verse 19:

"O you who believe, do not inherit women against their will"

This includes of course, marrying a woman against her wishes and a girl who is not old enough to have children is not considered old enough to know her mind for marriage.

Maturity is part of qualifying for marriage. So, this instituted something to protect young girls that had not been there prior to the advent of Islam. In the beginning of the same chapter in verse 2, Allah tells believers not to marry orphan girls to take their wealth, claiming they are doing it to "manage" the affairs of their "bride" (although she might have only been 2 or 3 years old).

We see this was the opposite of what the enemies of Islam would have you believe and not the truth at all.

There are two occasions recorded for all time in Saheeh Al Bukhari, wherein Abu Bakr offered his daughter, Ayesha to prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. The first time it tells us, she was playing outside and her mother came out and got her, took her into the house and that is when we hear of the proposal of marriage being offered to Muhammad, peace be upon him, BY HER FATHER. And then it says she went back outside to play (obviously still not married).

Some years later, a similar offer is again made by her father and at this time she is mature enough to have children and to make up her own mind, and she accepts her father's suggestion to marry the prophet, peace be upon him.

Her age at the time of the contract (there has to be a signed document by the groom in Islam) could be approximately ten years old on our calendar, but some scholars dispute this and make the age of actual living together as man and wife, as being in her teens.
Regardless of her age, the importance is the intent and the feelings.

She was most happy with this arrangement and she says so in the recorded hadeeths. For the entire time they were married, she never said a single bad word against her husband. Not one.

After his death, she became one of the top scholars of Islam during her lifetime. She narrated over 2,200 hadeeth and taught many aspects of Islam that would otherwise be unknown to us today, because she dealt primarily with the relationship between husbands and wives and families. She explained many very important details of intimacy and sexual relations that would otherwise have been lost to us.

Incidentally, all that we know about the relationship between the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and his wife Ayesha, their feelings, emotions and even her age, are recorded in hadeeths (sayings and teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him) and all of them are narrated by Ayesha, herself.

Think about this, she never complained about their poor living standards, never said a single negative thing about her husband (prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him), and never blamed him for anything - even up until the time of her death.

I might inject another saying familiar to all of us, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you". Compare that to the teaching of the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when he told his companions, "You are not a believer until you prefer the needs of your brother over your own".
If we consider these teachings and apply them in our lives, immediately we see a different picture on the outside and on the inside as well.

Consider this, if I have the best of intentions for someone and things don't go to their standards or their feelings, I am not the guilty one on this issue. Also, if the other person is blaming me, then let them. They are the ones with the problem and they are looking for scape goats and people to lay their own hangups on, rather than to deal with their own guilt.

This is one of the reasons some prefer to have someone else sacrifice for them, as they do not want to pay the price. The concept of Jesus, peace be upon him, taking away their sins and sacrificing for them lets them off the hook and they don't have to apologize or seek forgiveness. Basically, they want to approach the pearly gates and say, "Charge it to Jesus".

With all due respect, it is important for us to keep in mind our prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was sent as the very best of examples for all humans to the Last Day. If he had done such things as others may claim today, then the people of his time would not have followed him to the extent they did. Nor would they have been willing to readily sacrifice themselves to protect him and his teachings as they did.

Here is the true story of MARRIAGE to Ayesha to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him: www.ProphetOfIslam.com

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