A Muslim Man? Did He Force Her?
Silly questions every day - since I came to Islam 4 years ago.
Here is how the usual story goes: A Muslim woman comes up to me and says, "You became a Moslem because your husband made you, right?”
- OK don’t get me wrong, this is the story of some women - but why not?
Just ask - instead of assuming based on a stereotype of Western women accepting Islam?
This is a misconception that has also been adapted by Non-Muslims who automatically assume that in order for a Muslim man to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, she has to adapt the Islamic religion for the marriage to be valid. This has been a constant perception I have had to face regularly in the mosque, gatherings, and my random visit to Walmart.
I reminsce about the time when I was in my early stages of a Muslimah. I would be greeted by sisters and welcomed warmly at first because they assumed I was Middle Eastern. When they would realize that I wasn’t Arab or a born Muslimah, I would be cast to the side with the converts who attended the mosque. Has our brotherhood become so shattered that the religion Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) preached, implemented and taught for all of humanity been degraded, as becoming a deen of people who think they are privileged due to blood lines?
Some people have become discriminatory in the Muslim community because they have become arrogant with the concept that they’re of a certain race and culture thus feeling the necesity to haze those who are different. It’s challenging enough to be persecuted for your newly found faith by the American society and your non-Muslim family, but to be shunned plus discriminated against from the Muslim community which is supposed to provide moral support and who shares the same foundations of belief is proposterous. I have encountered Muslim sisters who would say that Western women are taking their Muslim brothers from them. Authubilahi, is this the Islamic community we depend and associate with in our lives? Unfortunately, for many Muslim converts it’s the reality.
This isn’t the Islam that I learned and it’s definitely not the deen that was taught by our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). He brought a message that came to bring justice, rights, manners, modesty, tawheed (oneness in worshipping Allah), and protection for all of humanity. He taught us the following:
Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “The dearest and nearest among you to me on the Day of Resurrection will be one who is the best of you in manners; and the most abhorrent among you to me and the farthest of you from me will be the pompous, the garrulous, and Al-Mutafaihiqun.” The Companions asked him: “O Messenger of Allah! We know about the pompous and the garrulous, but we do not know who Al-Mutafaihiqun are.” He replied: “The arrogant people”.(At-Tirmidhi)
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, By Him in Whose Hand is my life! You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I inform you of something which, if you do, you will love one another? Promote greetings amongst yourselves.” (Muslim)
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, ” It is enough evil for a Muslim to look down upon his (Muslim) brother.” (Muslim) The Prophet said, “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself” (Al-Bukhari)
These are just a few of his teachings that we should apply into our lives and strive to attain. I don’t want you to think that all Muslims are this way, because that would be biased and unfair to portray. The personalities I have mentioned today are a few bad apples within the Muslim community who are ignorant and who have demonstrated they don’t understand the basics of our religion.
It’s very important that we remember the hardships that Muslim converts experience especially during the beginning of embracing the faith. Don’t let the whispers of Shaytan defeat you. Open your wing, provide your friendship, love, and compassion towards the Muslim sister who is battling many hardships at this time.
Remember to treat people how you would like to be treated. We have to be bricks of a wall who enforce each other (Al-Bukhari). Don’t be so quick to jump and assume you know how this sister accepted Islam. Even if she did embrace Islam because she met a man or her husband. Why judge her? Is that really up to us to do? We should gracefully and proudly say “Alhamdulilah sister, welcome to Islam”, because its not important how we learned Islam. The beauty lies in the wisdom of Allah’ s guidance to every soul. Everyone who embraces Islam is guided in ways we thought were unimaginable and it’s not up to us to criticize the elements of their journey. Allah is the one who plans and says for things to “Be” and then it becomes, and He Allah is the best of planners.
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