Once a particular faith affiliation is established in the heart and mind of an individual, it is often difficult for them to concede on matters of religious upbringing and lifestyles contradicting their particular choice of belief. This is especially true of those who choose to follow Islam.

One very important thing Islam has brought for those who would give consideration to obeying their Lord and drawing closer to Him in the Next Life, is the important subject of "Rights and Limitations".

If I were to try to sum up the concept of what Allah has established for us human beings in two simple words, it would have to be, "rights and limitations." Allah tells us who and what has the most rights over us (even our own bodies) and what the limiations are for us to stay within.

The reason Islam mandates marriages only to "believers" is due to the very concept of Islam itself. The word "Islam" means: "Total surrender, submission, obedience in sincerity and peace to Almighty Allah."

One who is following "Islam" is known in Arabic as a "Muslim" (Mu-Islam, i.e.; "One who does the action of ISLAM" [that is, they believe in One God without partners and follow the teachings of Quran and Muhammad, peace be upon him).

A true Muslim is one who has totally committed themselves to the Will of Almighty God on His Terms. Many people are just not ready to make that kind of life commitment. Doing the Will of God on earth as it is in Heaven, is actually a part of the teaching we find in two Gospels in the Holy Bible, wherein Jesus, peace be upon him, taught his followers how to pray.

There are many "dos" and "don'ts" in the religion of monotheism based on the teachings of the "God of Abraham" (Judaism, Christianity and Islam). The Old Testament is lined with so many commandments that I cannot count them all.

The New Testament doesn't really add anything new, however it does clearly call for an adherence to the "Law" (Torah) of the Old Testament. This is still existing in today's version of the Bible, Matthew, 5:17-20; wherein Jesus, peace be upon him, tells his audience, not even one dot shall be dropped out of the Law (commandments):

¹⁷ "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.
¹⁸ For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the Law till all is fulfilled.
¹⁹ Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
²⁰ For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

The commandments of Allah in the Quran are very similar and the concept of obedience to them is the same as in Judaism and Christianity. Allah tells us in the Qur'an about the people before us (Jews and Christians) and what they were ordered to do:

98. Surah Al Baiyinah (The Clear Evidence)
In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Lam yakuni allatheena kafaroo min ahl alkitabi waalmushrikeena munfakkeena hatta ta/tiyahumu albayyinatu

^98:1 "Those who disbelieve from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and among Al-Mushrikun, were not going to leave (their disbelief) until there came to them clear evidence."

Rasoolun mina Allahi yatloo suhufan mutahharatan

^98:2 "A Messenger (Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) from Allah, reciting (the Qur'an) purified pages [purified from Al-Batil (falsehood, etc.)].

Feeha kutubun qayyimatun

^98:3 "Containing correct and straight laws from Allah.

Wama tafarraqa allatheena ootoo alkitaba illa min baAAdi ma jaat-humu albayyinatu

^98:4 "And the people of the Scripture differed not until after there came to them clear evidence. (i.e. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and whatever was revealed to him).

Wama omiroo illa liyaAAbudoo Allaha mukhliseena lahu alddeena hunafaa wayuqeemoo alssalata wayutoo alzzakata wathalika deenu alqayyimati

^98:5 "And they were commanded not, but that they should worship Allah, and worship none but Him Alone (abstaining from ascribing partners to Him), and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give Zakat: and that is the right religion.

Inna allatheena kafaroo min ahli alkitabi waalmushrikeena fee nari jahannama khalideena feeha ola-ika hum sharru albariyyati

^98:6 "Verily, those who disbelieve from among the people of the Scripture and Al-Mushrikun will abide in the Fire of Hell. They are the worst of creatures.

Inna allatheena amanoo waAAamiloo alssalihati ola-ika hum khayru albariyyati

^98:7 "Verily, those who believe and do righteous good deeds, they are the best of creatures.

Jazaohum AAinda rabbihim jannatu AAadnin tajree min tahtiha al-anharu khalideena feeha abadan radiya Allahu AAanhum waradoo AAanhu thalika liman khashiya rabbahu

^98:8 "Their reward with their Lord is 'Adn (Eden) Paradise (Gardens of Eternity), underneath which rivers flow, they will abide therein forever, Allah Well-Pleased with them, and they with Him. That is for him who fears his Lord.

There is a verse in Quran, often referred to by those interested in the subject of Muslims marrying from the "People of the Book":

Alyawma ohilla lakumu alttayyibatu wataAAamu allatheena ootoo alkitaba hillun lakum wataAAamukum hillun lahum

^5:5 "Made lawful to you this day are At­Tayyibat [all kinds of Halal (lawful) foods, which Allah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, etc., milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits, etc.). The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals, etc.) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them."

Waalmuhsanatu mina almu/minati waalmuhsanatu mina allatheena ootoo alkitaba min qablikum itha ataytumoohunna ojoorahunna muhsineena ghayra musafiheena wala muttakhithee akhdanin waman yakfur bial-eemani faqad habita AAamaluhu wahuwa fee al-akhirati mina alkhasireena

^5:5 "(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers (Muslims) and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends.
And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allah and in all the other Articles of Faith [i.e. His (Allah's), Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al­Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.
(Surah Ma'idah, 5:5)

A very important verse regarding marriage for Muslim men and the rights and limitations prescribed by Allah. The limitations here include "chaste" women from the believers and the ahl kitab (Jews and Christians) but then the phrase "before your time" and the phrase "desiring chastity" and not committing illegal sexual intercourse, not girl-friends. And then the subject of "belief" comes up again.

It now becomes clear, even the Muslim men are not permitted to marry from other than the "believers" and they have to be virgins. The Muslim women could not be permitted to marry from any except believers, due to the serious problem of raising the children without the correct beliefs.

Wala tankihoo almushrikati hatta yu/minna walaamatun mu/minatun khayrun min mushrikatin walaw aAAjabatkum wala tunkihoo almushrikeena hatta yu/minoo walaAAabdun mu/minun khayrun min mushrikin walaw aAAjabakum ola-ika yadAAoona ila alnnari waAllahu yadAAoo ila aljannati waalmaghfirati bi-ithnihi wayubayyinu ayatihi lilnnasi laAAallahum yatathakkaroona

^2:221 "And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember."
(Baqarah 2:221)

We notice that the correct belief in Allah (He is uniquely One without any partners) is the most important subject before anything else. Those who commit shirk (partners with Allah) are by far, the worst in the Sight of Allah. The clear message is they are going to be inviting you to the Hell Fire.

Conclusion: Marriage for believers, is only to other believers. Virginity is very important in Islam. The correct position is for Muslim men and Muslim women to be married and raise a family and to work together to achieve a life in the Jennah (Paradise). How could this be achieved without the correct belief on the part of both?

Advice: Pray to Allah. Ask Him for His Forgiveness and for His Guidance. Then be ready for Him to make some very serious changes in your life. He always tests the believers.

Ahasiba alnnasu an yutrakoo an yaqooloo amanna wahum la yuftanoona

^29:2 "Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested.

Walaqad fatanna allatheena min qablihim falayaAAlamanna Allahu allatheena sadaqoo walayaAAlamanna alkathibeena

^29:3 "And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test).

Allah loves the believers and will never let them down.

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